Hi, I am Oviga from Grade 7. I have been writing for the past few years, and this year I would like to share my creations with a wider audience. I look forward to hearing your thoughts and feedback on my writing.
I can clearly see a lot of potential in you as a writer. Your idea of “unknotting” the story step by step was very creative and engaging. It kept the curiosity alive.
However, using your real friends’ names slightly affected the balance of the fantasy thriller element. At some points, the narration could have been smoother and more detailed to make the story even more gripping.
Overall, this is a wonderful effort, and I truly appreciate your creativity. Keep writing and refining your skills
I am really proud of you, my dear.
This is a fantastic start, and you still have a long way to go.
Wishing you the very best for a bright future ahead.
I truly enjoyed it.
Hey Ovigha,
You’ve done a great job!
The setting is well established, and it supports the other elements of the story such as the mood and the characters’ actions effectively. Your story uses very vivid imagery, which helps the reader clearly picture the scenes and emotions. You have also shown a good command of vocabulary and figurative language, which adds richness and creativity to your writing.
Personally I feel that you should work more on the expression and the transitions between ideas or events so that the narrative flows more smoothly. With clearer connections between sentences and paragraphs. For instance (My friend, Elamathi… explain more about the dog bed…) add those little nuances then surely, your story will become even more engaging and easy to follow. Overall, it is a promising piece of writing with strong descriptive potential.
You’ve done a great job. Loved your effort, imagination and creativity in fabricating something mysterious.
The setting is well established, and it supports the other elements of the story such as the mood and the characters’ actions effectively. Your story uses very vivid imagery, which helps the reader clearly picture the scenes and emotions. You have also shown a good command of vocabulary and figurative language, which adds richness and creativity to your writing.
Well! I personally feel, you should work more on the expression and the transitions between ideas or events so that the narrative flows more smoothly. With clearer connections between sentences and paragraphs (For instance: “My friend Elamathi…, add detailing to the “Dog Bed” add the little nuances), your story will become even more engaging and easy to follow.
It was very pulchritudinous and a little scary. Your ideas were excellent, and they gave me many new ideas. Your story was truly motivating and inspiring.
I really love the story. I hope you will be an inspiring person to many students. your topic was amazing and too motivating.
you also used new vocabulary that help me to use in my story.
Hi ovi ,
Such a great start and the story was fantastic ,thrilling and also little scary and I am truly inspired by your style of writing . Keep going ovi and I belive in you . And all the best for your further journey of writing….
“You have a wonderful imagination—keep it going!”
Hi ovi ,
Such a great start and the story was fantastic ,thrilling and also little scary and I am truly inspired by your style of writing . Keep going ovi and I belive in you . And all the best for your further journey of writing….
Dear ovi I was stunned after reading. A neat grammatical good vocabulary short & crisp story by a small kid is a stunning effort. I wish you keep writing and push yourself to a higher standard and iam sure you will be a great writer 💐💐💐
Dear ovi I was stunned after reading. A neat grammatical good vocabulary short & crisp story by a small kid is a stunning effort. I wish you keep writing and push yourself to a higher standard and iam sure you will be a great writer 💐💐💐
Hi Oviga,
I was floored by the intense, gripping, story and the suspense lurking at every hidden door. But, you SPOILED the overall serious flow by bringing in ‘friends’ and the names of your friends – you should have kept them enigmatic, just as you (in the story) is an enigmatic Investigator (say, of the Sherlock Holmes kind).
You should have avoided saying, ‘My friends and I were assigned to investigate’ instead said, ‘I was assigned’ and added a sentence about your team of investigators or colleagues or a Firm. Investigating and using guns is serious business and friends sounds too casual.
Hello Oviga,
I can clearly see a lot of potential in you as a writer. Your idea of “unknotting” the story step by step was very creative and engaging. It kept the curiosity alive.
However, using your real friends’ names slightly affected the balance of the fantasy thriller element. At some points, the narration could have been smoother and more detailed to make the story even more gripping.
Overall, this is a wonderful effort, and I truly appreciate your creativity. Keep writing and refining your skills
Hi ovigha akka your story is very good and you can also make more illustration
it was nice and scarry i think you may add some twists in between that may embrace your story and it is creepy and scary overall
Hi Ovi,
I am really proud of you, my dear.
This is a fantastic start, and you still have a long way to go.
Wishing you the very best for a bright future ahead.
I truly enjoyed it.
Hey Ovigha,
You’ve done a great job!
The setting is well established, and it supports the other elements of the story such as the mood and the characters’ actions effectively. Your story uses very vivid imagery, which helps the reader clearly picture the scenes and emotions. You have also shown a good command of vocabulary and figurative language, which adds richness and creativity to your writing.
Personally I feel that you should work more on the expression and the transitions between ideas or events so that the narrative flows more smoothly. With clearer connections between sentences and paragraphs. For instance (My friend, Elamathi… explain more about the dog bed…) add those little nuances then surely, your story will become even more engaging and easy to follow. Overall, it is a promising piece of writing with strong descriptive potential.
Hey Ovigha,
You’ve done a great job. Loved your effort, imagination and creativity in fabricating something mysterious.
The setting is well established, and it supports the other elements of the story such as the mood and the characters’ actions effectively. Your story uses very vivid imagery, which helps the reader clearly picture the scenes and emotions. You have also shown a good command of vocabulary and figurative language, which adds richness and creativity to your writing.
Well! I personally feel, you should work more on the expression and the transitions between ideas or events so that the narrative flows more smoothly. With clearer connections between sentences and paragraphs (For instance: “My friend Elamathi…, add detailing to the “Dog Bed” add the little nuances), your story will become even more engaging and easy to follow.
Good to see you unleashing the Rowling in you!
It was very pulchritudinous and a little scary. Your ideas were excellent, and they gave me many new ideas. Your story was truly motivating and inspiring.
Its very scary then i think so some more illustrations are pictures doodles i like it it was noce
Its very scary then i think so some more illustrations are pictures doodles i like it it was very nice
Hi ovigha akka your story is very good and you can also make more illustration
it was so scary but more illustrations or stickers make it good to seee i like it it was nice
I really love the story. I hope you will be an inspiring person to many students. your topic was amazing and too motivating.
you also used new vocabulary that help me to use in my story.
I really love this story and the title is very suitable for this story
Hi ovi ,
Such a great start and the story was fantastic ,thrilling and also little scary and I am truly inspired by your style of writing . Keep going ovi and I belive in you . And all the best for your further journey of writing….
“You have a wonderful imagination—keep it going!”
I really love this story and the title is very suitable for this story and additionally add more vocabularies
Hi ovi ,
Such a great start and the story was fantastic ,thrilling and also little scary and I am truly inspired by your style of writing . Keep going ovi and I belive in you . And all the best for your further journey of writing….
It’s a very good story and It very scary
Hi ovi ,
Your story was mysterious and the background was perfect I would like to see some doodles with your expression.
Overall it is the perfect one I would say
I would like you to write more stories like this 😁😉
Bye ovi
hi ovigha this story was interesting and scary and i liked your story alot.
Hi ovigha I liked your story and it was awsome
Hi ovigha I liked your story and nice Imagination
Dear ovi I was stunned after reading. A neat grammatical good vocabulary short & crisp story by a small kid is a stunning effort. I wish you keep writing and push yourself to a higher standard and iam sure you will be a great writer 💐💐💐
Hi,oviga
The story was very nice to read
And I liked the scary effects and the spooky effect too it was perfect to read
Hi,oviga
The story was very awesome to read
And I liked the scary effects and the spooky effect too it was perfect to read
Dear ovi I was stunned after reading. A neat grammatical good vocabulary short & crisp story by a small kid is a stunning effort. I wish you keep writing and push yourself to a higher standard and iam sure you will be a great writer 💐💐💐
Vocabularies in the story was nice to read. A Good story pictures and presentation was very nice 📔✍️ nice story oviga sister 🧑🎓🫅
. keep it up 👏
Hi,oviga
The story was very nice to read
And I liked the scary effects
Hi,oviga
The story was very nice to read
And I liked the scary effects and the spooky effect too
Hi Oviga,
I was floored by the intense, gripping, story and the suspense lurking at every hidden door. But, you SPOILED the overall serious flow by bringing in ‘friends’ and the names of your friends – you should have kept them enigmatic, just as you (in the story) is an enigmatic Investigator (say, of the Sherlock Holmes kind).
You should have avoided saying, ‘My friends and I were assigned to investigate’ instead said, ‘I was assigned’ and added a sentence about your team of investigators or colleagues or a Firm. Investigating and using guns is serious business and friends sounds too casual.
Otherwise brilliant story telling. Keep it up